You’ve got a gun? There goes the neighborhood!
When I’ve told my friends and relatives that I’m involved in recreational and personal defense shooting and that I own a firearm, I’ve had reactions that span from one extreme to the other. From questioning my femininity and sanity all the way to high fives and admiration for taking responsibility for my own personal defense, women (and some men) can be very judgmental. They tend to forget that we are adults and can make our own decisions and we really aren’t asking their permission for anything. It seems as though it’s more prevalent today than ever that commonality in thought rules society whether the outcome is truly right or wrong. On the other hand, it’s also more common than ever to see women entering the shooting world, and it’s becoming more accepted than ever before.
What do you do? I’ve always been the type to chart my own path and will continue to do so. But I also understand that my friends don’t have to think like I do, and I respect that. My friends are used to me by now, and nothing surprises them when it comes to my decisions. But you may live in a part of the country where shooting is not as prevalent as in the Midwest (Ohio, to be exact).
What Does This All Mean?
Hold on. I’m not saying you need to have anyone’s permission to continue on your shooting journey. I’m trying to convey the fact that it’s easier for some to throw condemnation at it than politely discuss it in public. Again, it’s the mob mentality and social acceptance answer. Take a look at a few questions I’ve encountered, learn from them, and come up with a few of your own responses. Preparing to discuss and answer “why” you chose to begin shooting is part of the mental preparation each person has to go through when they decide to make shooting part of their life.
For the most part, debate has been minimized to memes of Facebook, one-liners, and emojicons. Stating your point of view and politely discussing a topic are skills that need to be learned and practiced. There are enough people in society feeding the notion that “if you’re not on my side, you’re on the wrong side.” We can and should be better than that.
The Talk
The way you react to their responses is important and can steer the conversation in either the intended direction or send it over the cliff. Knee-jerk reactions to comments that might initially sting are never a good choice. Wanting to tell someone to go fly a kite sure might feel good at the time but won’t after the dust settles, especially if it’s a friend. Agreeing to disagree is a very good option, and should not be discounted due to its simplicity.
But if you choose to open up a discussion, pondering these questions is a great starting place to find the answers or rebuttals you need: What got you to start shooting? What was your first experience like? Why did you decide to continue? How does it make you feel now that you own your personal defense? It’s also important to look for the intent behind your friends’ questions. Are they really asking what the words are saying or is there another meaning behind their words? Perhaps your friends have personal experiences that are coming through in the form of their questions. Being able to read the meaning behind the questions will assist in framing your answers. Be perceptive.
It’s important to point out to your friends that you empathize with them (if you really do). “I used to feel that way too, until I tried …” is a great way to help your friends understand that you get where they’re coming from, and perhaps defuse a situation before it escalates.
I’ve had all of the comments (and more) listed above thrown in my direction. The goal is to not overreact. Explaining that a perfectly sane, perfectly normal woman can decide to safely and lawfully shoot recreationally or carry concealed is what is required in that situation. A simple question or flippant remark met with a calm answer will produce the best possible outcome. However, if you are met with compounding ridiculousness or you can tell by the questions or comments that the person is simply anti-gun and not interested in hearing your meaningful answers, then the “go fly a kite” rebuttal almost always works. At that point, I default to my favorite saying: “Some will. Some won’t. Who cares? Move on.”
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I have found that sometimes if you offer to take that person along they may change their way of thinking and I think it's a great way to relieve stress by putting little holes in paper at long range. Stay safe
No matter how much time you put in at the range. When it comes time for the real deal. And you need to use your gun. Over 75% will freeze up. Take to long, and keep saying STOP. STOP! The range & the real deal are not the same. Just something to think about. Don't freeze up! And one more thing. People use their gun to protect there self/family. When 5-0 come they start talking away, going 90 MPH. STOP! NEVER NEVER talk to 5-0 until you have a lawyer with you. Just give your name & ask for a lawyer. And the right kind of lawyer. Just give your name & ask for a lawyer. Then shut up. You can talk yourself into jail real fast. Don't do it. 5-0 is NOT on your side. They are there to take you away. And see if they can charge you in any way. Be smart, not sorry. Have a lawyer with you when you talk to 5-0. Just saying. P.S. Know the laws in your state. On when you can defend yourself.
Very good and quite insightful. I hope I can use some of the insights should I ever have to engage in a conversation with those who are likely to be fueled by their own personal passionate but misinformed opinions. Especially when it comes on the heels of a recent mass shooting, like the one in Roseburg, Oregon a couple of weeks ago. I lived in Roseburg for about five years, I moved there after I had suffered a very violent sexual assault, knifing, and beating in my mid thirties while living in Albuquerque, NM. My perpetrators were never caught or arrested. My counselor suggested that I relocate to a different state where I could process and heal. While I was in Roseburg, I made friends with a couple of sheriff deputies who taught NRA certified gun safety courses and concealed carry permit course. I took the offer paid the fee and not too long after I passed my courses with "flying colors" I bought my first handgun and applied for my Oregon CCW-CHL permit. A couple of years later I had a good job offer in the Portland area as a nurse, and moved to Portland. I learned a great, great deal of tactical shooting and the critical philosophy theory that goes into being a sensible shooter. For anyone who has the slap shot notion of just carrying a gun to protect themselves. They are already self deceived. You're not going to s hoot like a DIRTY Harry! Many veteran police officers are killed because of their lack of situational awareness and being "cocky". And it's usually by some dirty, snot,nosed doped up thug that on any other night when the officer was aware of the surroundings about him or her, that thug would likely be wearing a toe tag! Situational awareness 24/7 will save most anyone. The fight YOU win is the one that you never get in--period! And one last thing. GUN FREE ZONES have NEVER saved anyone, anywhere. Obama's lying to you!